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How to Deal With the Guilt of Cheating on Someone
By Yvonne Finn
No matter what excuse you use to assuage the guilt of cheating on someone, eventually you will become ashamed of all the lies and deception that is required to continue the affair.
Dealing with the guilt and shame is not conducive to being romantic because you will always be anxious about being caught in one of the many lies and secrets you must keep when cheating on someone.
Cheating on someone is not done in a vacuum and you are sure to be aware that if the cheating is discovered or if you reveal it to your partner you will cause them extreme and sometimes unforgivable hurt. Feeling guilty about your cheating will change your attitude towards your partner and the other person as well. It is difficult to feel relaxed and intimate when you know that you are causing others harm, unless of course you have become a serial cheater and cheating is now a part of your lifestyle.
However, if you are feeling guilty about cheating on someone and want to preserve the relationship that you have with them, you have three choices:
1. You must obviously end the cheating and sever all ties with the person you were cheating with.
2. If your partner has found out about the cheating you must be prepared for the devastating fallout of pain, anger and bitterness that will come your way.
3. Your spouse or partner has not learned of the cheating and you must decide whether to confess it or not
Number one is fairly cut and dried, you have to end the relationship that is causing you to feel guilty over hurting someone you love.
Incidentally, it is often assumed that the person doing the cheating does not suffer or feel anguish, but this is often not the case. Many cheaters are shocked that they have cheated and suffer devastating pain, regret and heartache of their own.
Number two is also obvious and cannot be avoided, the partner being cheated on is going to be enraged, hurt and feel betrayed when they learn that you have cheated on them. There is no way to bypass this.
You must be prepared to rebuild their self-esteem, trust and sense of security in the relationship that you have destroyed.
Number three is more subjective and only you can decide how best to deal with that scenario.
If you have cheated on someone and they have not found out about it should you tell them?
Can you live with such a lie if you decide not to tell? Is a relationship that harbors such deception ever secure? What will happen if the cheating is accidentally found out months or even years later?
If it was your partner who cheated on you, would you want to know? I believe if you answer those questions honestly you will know how to deal with the guilt of cheating on someone.
Want some more effective tips on how to deal with the guilt of cheating on someone?
Then download your free guide at: Survive the Affair Together
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Finn
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