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Before you rush into starting an affair, you need to think about it and ask yourself about your own personality. What do other people find attractive about you? Remember there are three or more (if you have children or the other person’s married too) people involved here, not just you and your potential new lover. Can you handle the risks of your spouse finding out or complications at work or socially – and would you be able to handle the consequences? Do you have the time or courage to have an affair? If you haven’t thought about these questions, you definitely need to try to answer them now.
Finding A Lover
Think about where you go during the day and what social groups you’re in. Your work colleagues, sports buddies and gym mates are usually parts of different social networks and are great avenues for looking for an affair. If you have singles in your social groups, this can help. Although some people do, it’s best not to try your luck with your partner’s friends… or family.
I Have Someone In Mind
Before you run up and give them a hotel room key, you need to find out if they’re interested in being more than just your friend or colleague. Make eye contact with them and try to talk about what they’re interested. If you don’t know, you need to find out. Smile. A sudden confession of “I want to fuck you” won’t usually work and may give you a slap in the face, unless the person’s pretty ‘easy’. Making sure they don’t have loose lips is good too. You don’t want them spilling the beans to everyone and having it get back to your partner!
They Know I’m Married
Unfortunately, if they know you’re married, your chances of them making a pass at you are slimmer than if you were single (although some people like the ‘challenge’ or like to chase what they can’t have). You need to be careful about how you approach them. Don’t instantly try to be physically close to them as this may make them feel awkward and could lead to them pulling away and try to avoid you. In the end, you need to ensure they want to be more than just friends before you concrete your intentions.
They Don’t Know I’m Married
This is one of the easier ways of getting into an extramarital relationship. If they don’t know your relationship status and you make advances towards them, most people will assume you’re single and not bother asking. “Assumption is the mother of all fuckups” and at least you’re not technically lying at this stage!
Making Your Move
You cannot be sure if the other person is interested until you ask. Many people flirt with no intent to take it further than a dirty dance, casual touch or flirty eyes. Pay attention to the body language of your potential lover and where they like to take conversations with you, especially if they venture into intimate subjects. The last thing you need is for the person you’re attempting relations with to tell you they’re not interested, and they’re disappointed in you and will tell your wife! Not to mention the embarrassment you will feel!
Be careful how you approach finding out if they want to take it further. Asking them “wanna go in the supplies closet and fuck?” is probably a little too forward! Start off with some body contact and see how they warm to you and then build from that.
Rejection
You can’t just expect everything to go your way every time. If the reactions from the person you’re trying to woo are negative, you need to just be polite and move on. Don’t just frown at them and stomp off saying “stupid slut/manwhore, leading me on…” because if they hear it, it might sever his/her friendship with you too!
Discuss What You Expect
Communication is important in any relationship so you need to make sure you talk and discuss what kind of level of secrecy you both will have. If you only want it to be an affair and you want to keep your married life, you need to talk to that person because it has to be a mutual agreement to work properly, or you’ll be left with either just your marriage and no separate lover, or torn between the two… or single.
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